Saturday, December 6, 2008

Crossroads

Once again I find myself at a major crossroads. No car, no job, still in grad school... but i hate it. I applied to do a second undergraduate degree in Japanese and ESL, but i haven't heard back from the school year (Eastern is bad with paperwork it seems). Obviously the biggest problem is simply my lack of a job. I still have an apartment to pay for (they don’t let you break the lease here unless you basically want to pay half what they’re going to get anywhere for the rest of your lease ^^;;) so I DO need a job, but… it’s not quite that simple. I left my last job without putting in my two weeks notice because I was so frustrated and could no longer commute due to my migraines. So that basically screws me whenever a job wants to run a background check (which is always). The first number they call they’re going to get a bad review. Although I did fine work there and probably would have eventually been able to switch to a less stressful job… it wasn’t going to be anytime in the immediate future. Sadly now I have to somehow get two jobs to pay for my apartment – way too many bills. Before I didn’t have enough energy to get a second job… now, since my first job (whatever that will be) very doubtfully will be the same as what I was making in my last job, I really need to have two. Only, my feet have been seriously killing me: I think I might have a bone spur. How I’m supposed to stay on my feet for two jobs straight isn’t very clear. Or, even, how I’m supposed to get those jobs.


Right now it seems that a lot of businesses are having a hiring freeze. Pretty much any retail job and half the restaurants. I do have skills, but Michigan’s economy has been rotting away year after year and with the current economic crises, it’s somehow amazingly even worse. I tried to do this canvassing job last week but… I guess the rules dictate that you raise $110 in donations every night for the whole year… and I made zero dollars. The catch is, if you want to keep your jobs you become trained as a “director” and then you have other obligations that keep you employed, except I can’t really be shifted from state to state as a director would be. I’m still in school, and I have a lease on this apartment. The only other job I’ve been offered so far is Vector Marketing (basically selling knives in people’s homes), which is also impossible to make money at. I’m guessing before too long I’m going to be evicted. Even if I can get another loan for next year there’s no way it would pay for this

apartment.


This all adds up to basically to me losing my mind and probably is the reason for all my migraines. I’m not 100% sure of course, but it’s a safe bet. Migraines… make it hard to get a job (you have to be able to go outside when sun’s shining), and even harder to concentrate at work (note: this is why I lost my last job). I guess a lot of people don’t have it quite this bad, and others have it worse… but unfortunately I don’t have a spouse to turn to. My parents won’t bail me out, and even if they did, I would have an even harder time finding work way out in the country. I guess I need to get a better attitude and put things in perspective and all that. So… how does one do that?